Feeling Bit Delirious

My eyes are puffed-up now. Been crying for the last hour and half and boy does these eyes need time out for just 10 minutes! 2 movies made me cried, literally dried up my tears everytime I watched it and tonight, I decided to have ago at one of them… Sheesh! Once those tears get going, nothing can prevent it from pouring down like a waterfall…

Darling is out on a boys night out tonight, so, left me all by myself at home, fending for myself! I'm not complaining about being left alone! It gives me the time to be with myself, do all I wanted to do without having him questioning everything I do; well only every now and then of course! Friday is the day that he’s able to let his hair down with his mates. If I said no, he’ll just mope around the house like a little boy not allowed playing with his friends outside the house, so I gave in! Sometimes I feel that men will always be boys even after they have tied that knot! They still wants to play on their Playstation, still wants to go out with boys and play hoops and talk crap (hang on! Doesn’t women do that too?), still wants to drive around town with a massive water gun and just spray it on strangers and just drove off from ‘scene of the crime’ (a friend did this over the last 2 weekennds)… Boys will be boys eh? But nevertheless, they can sometimes be the most charming, most adoring, most compassionate men alive (if they choose to)… What else did I miss?

We can’t live with them, we can’t live without them…

Yesterday as usual had been a tiring day but on my way home, I felt giddy…

Not giddy from a headache but just felt like I’m walking-on-air. It’s hard to describe the feeling I'm carrying with me but it’s just how I felt at that precise moment.

See, I was walking towards the bus station, listening to this song from my CD player (IPod? Wats that?) and… as the song was playing and the sun is shining on me and wind blowing my hair (imagine L’oreal Shampoo ad where the woman will swing their head from side to side, with their hair blown), I envisage that I was the girl in the video clip to the song I’m listening to but in Slow Motion… and I started to smile – a wide grin on my face, walking, crossing the road, imagining people feasting their eyes upon me, walking, singing, wide smile on my face – pure delight, pure happiness? Strange how just one song can make me smile or even made me feel the way I did, but it did. How odd! Why is this girl grinning widely they questioned? Ah! Maybe she got lucky - got laid! Maybe she won that lottery roll over (uhm... never buy it so, don't think that will happen)! And so they keep being inquisitive!

I told darling about it and he just shook his head and said, “You’re just mad as a hatter… and that’s why I love you undyingly!” CheeeWaah! Well, that’s good to know isn’t it, despite me being a bit lacking upstairs, darling will still love me! Until heaven we will be together! Malay version: Hingga ke Syurga! Ahhhhh! How sweet!

Told him I was in love with this album that I bought few weeks back and am so in love with his songs, mixes, lyrics; just love the sound of the guitar strings - strumming away skilfully, the organ, the piano… his vocals are just different and unique... I just can imagine him singing his songs with passion, sentiment & devotion & love... They are unquestionably unheard-of, awe-inspiring; of the first water! The best Album I’ve bought for years and the affect that it gave me is just phenomenal!

Anyway, better not get carried away with just an Album! This could just be a phase, I think…so he says too! He said, “This ‘phase’ or ‘craziness’ will pass once you get sick and tired of the album... just as long as you’re not up to here with me and there’s no phase whatsoever, then it’s fine by me! Make sure you don’t leave me because of this musician! I can’t handle the competition, the P.R.E.S.S.U.R.E!” We laughed and just lay there…

“Beautiful Dawn…
Will you be my shoulder when I’m grey and older?
Promise me tomorrow starts with you…
Thought I was born to endless night, until you shine…” J. Blunt